What if the way we relate to our art mirrors the way we relate to love? This deeply personal essay explores attachment styles, grief, intimacy, and the surprising ways creativity teaches us how to stay present through vulnerability, uncertainty, and connection.

I almost walked away convinced humanity was unraveling. But one strange moment at a memorial revealed something unexpected about cynicism, grief, creativity, and the courage to stay open.

Grief does something strange to time. April 12, 2023 time stopped for me. It began like any other night: dinner, homework, and tucking the girls into bed. And then everything that had been ordinary vanished. I found my wife, Nicole, on the bedroom floor. Suddenly there was panic. Crying children. CPR. A phone pressed to my ear. Paramedics moving quickly, with the terrible fervency reserved for moments when time is running out. Desperation. A sheet. Scilence. When Nicole died, the world...